It burned us, and
Charred us badly.
Whatever there was,
It’s nothing now but ashes
and so let it be –
ashes to ashes.
Memories and madness.
What should not be aflame, never set on fire.
Sssshhh! Can you keep a secret?
I’m afraid I cannot hide it anymore –
It’s building up, stone by stone.
To you whom I keep an unknown,
Burning passion – as revolting
Though it might be, and as taboo as can be
I desire your hands around me
To you whom I ardently hate
With your unsightly face and
One day I shall let you know –
But for now I’d bother with a poem
And you who dislike me,
Or loathe or whatever
This I say to you:
You who loves me,
Do you really? How do I know?
Have I been passing in your life
for far too long?
You whom I love greatly, in this life
And the after life
Please love me back as fiercely
A secret desire to dominate
A secret desire to be submissive,
Deep, dark secrets
Snaking in, as sinister as the Amazon
We are all pretentious humans
We can never be true enough
Want a secret? I’ll tell you one!
A secret is something you can never keep
So spit it out and let’s hear it!
Try as you may to hide one,
It leaks out of you – through your eyes,
Movements, jumbled words, and in poems
Without you knowing!
An angel and devil incarnate,
As honest as a liar can get,
Ssshhh! Can you keep a secret?
I’m afraid I’ll expose them as well as myself —
Here I am,
Groping for words, trying to
Paint a picture of you –
Your eyes that express the emotions
I know so well. They are the windows
which show me the light, the dark
and shadows of your heart.
Your lips are the fountain from which
I drink; they leave me thirstier than ever,
craving for the slightest feel and taste.
Your rare, childish grins,
and the loud, contagious laughter.
Your arms that wrap around me,
to keep me warm, to keep me close.
Those strong hands that close
With mine, the same hands that nourish me,
Serve me, holds a book, touch my soul.
Your feet that carry you to me – whenever,
Still, here I am, seeing you clearly in my mind,
my heart expanding and my soul roaring alive.
You, ever rugged-looking, but gentle, childlike, even –
You, forever in me
the earth and sky, my universe.
When I am a skeleton
full of bones and holes
Love me still (Oh yes. Will you?)
For I will love you
despite my hideousness
and my brittleness (—crack, crack!)
In the void, while floating nonchalantly into Non-being.
Run a sword through my ribs (heart is not there)
Poke my eye sockets
and kick my shins
Break my leg
Hit my head (skull?) with
Put a gun through my mouth
pull the trigger
and blast my skull to pieces. (No brains)
I still would love you.
For I vowed to love you
‘Till I am all dust. (Sorry I’ve got no more flesh)
I’ll take every blow from you.
For this love.
For everything, everything, everything. (Kiss me, caress me one more time).
Hurt does not exist in this state. (Goodbye, senses. Goodbye, life).
I blended in with all the universe,
And I will patiently wait for you here.
When the time comes. Until then.
I wrote this when we stayed at The Holiday Inn. Penthouse. It was too luxurious for me but since we do not always do that, I enjoyed everything about our room. This poem was born out of that experience.
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